“Sunglasses and Advil. Last night was mad real.” -Kanye West, my life’s inspiration
Yes, I’m still alive and, no, despite my better judgment I haven’t abandoned this blog yet. To be honest, the whole month-long break thing has turned out to be a million times busier than expected*. Still to come: entries about Budapest, Amsterdam, Hertfordshire, Oxford, and most importantly, the Harry Potter Studio Tour, also commonly referred to as the day my life became complete.
But for now, here are some random updates about life in London:
*My expectations were to never crack open a class textbook, finally watch the third season of Arrested Development, and drink my way until May 22nd aka the day I fly home to San Diego. This was not the case.
– A couple of weeks ago when I took my bi-annual trip to the gym, I saw one girl wearing corduroy shorts and another rocking studded jeggings. The most concerning part? Fashion natural disasters like this are not at all abnormal in Europe. Needless to say, my follow up blog – “British People at the Gym” – should be coming soon to a WordPress near you.
– I had my first celebrity encounter! Well, sort of. I was already not in the grandest of moods because I was stuck waiting in line for a popular London club, XOYO, and it goes directly against my morals to wait for anything. So it was doubly annoying when some guy and girl completely skipped the line, strutting up to the entrance like they owned the joint. In retrospect, maybe they did.
– Regardless, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I instantly complained to the bouncer since I was standing at the very front. What, they were just gonna wave the couple through Noah’s Ark style and expected us commoners to be all smiles? Obviously, XOYO didn’t get the memo that there was a future 1st President of the United States (see entry #2) shivering in the cold in desperate need of a shot/glass/water basin filled with Jose Cuervo.
– Anyway, it was after I mouthed off to the bouncer that everyone else in line directed their attention to the line-cutters I was referring to. A second later, dozens of Brits were shrieking: “Oh my god, it’s Professor Green!” “Millie is with him!” “I love Made in Chelsea!”
– I turned to the least hysterical of the fans for some answers. Apparently, Professor Green is an English rapper, and apparently, he’s famous enough that I should most definitely know who he is. Millie Mackintosh is his wife/fiance/beard (can’t remember the specifics) and star of some popular reality show, which is evidently considered some sort of accomplishment nowadays.
British people: “Everyone here knows about them. That’s so cool they’re going to this club too!”
Me: “Oh, wow, I totally didn’t realize the people I was shouting at were celebrities.”
– I had re-evaluated the situation and it became clear these weren’t simply entitled randoms parading past us, but rather British stars who probably expected special treatment. Now that I knew who they were, I stuck out my head again.
“Hey PROFESSOR GREEN and MILLIE, get to the back of the line!”
Please, I’m American.
The Art of Being Basic 