We All Have Those Nights

“I wish I could be like other people and throw up in normal places” -Kayla Costello, ladies and gentlemen

Looks like I survived midterms week!

So now, a few more brief and not-so-brief updates from the past… um, month. I know, I know, I’ve been a complete underachiever when it comes to updating my autobiographical alcoholism/this blog – but in my defense, I’ve been swamped with an insane schedule of traveling the English countryside in hopes of becoming royalty (no success so far, but I’ll keep you posted!), being completely overwhelmed by the British grading system (“No, Arianna, a 68 means you did very well…”), having drinks bought for me by Queen Mary professors (see: next entry), and personally petitioning for artistic expression that better reflects my values as an American. Yes, we can.

Let’s start with the most bizarre. I’m talking even more confusing than that time I was riding the tube next to this frail old man who could have been twins with Bruce Wayne’s butler and realized the song he was jamming to on his iPod was Biggie’s “Mo Money Mo Problems.” A classic but confusing all the same.

Anyway, it’s Sunday and it should come as no surprise I was present at our university’s bar for “American night” as we all crowded around to watch the Superbowl. As someone whose hometown is only an hour outside of San Francisco, it’s safe to say that it was a night of mourning. I was also a bit perplexed because, although I had no qualms about the bartender handing me free shots (you know how I feel about paying for things), he mentioned I was from USD. Naturally, I asked him how he knew this, so he explained that one of his flatmates was a Kappa from USD last semester.

Me: “That doesn’t really answer my question…….”

But then he reacquainted me with another helping of tequila so I dismissed the fact that I’m not even in Kappa, I’m Alpha Phi, and this man was potentially my new Helga Pataki of the week.

Anyway, the highlight of this story is when I went to the bathroom later that night and made eye contact with none other than Sue! To refresh your memory: unknown Brit, semi-unconscious at a bus stop, somehow puked up twice her body weight – that gem. I then came to the conclusion that either our university was deceivingly small or I had a drinking problem. Probably both.

Of course, Sue was ecstatic to see me since she never had the chance to thank me before – likely because, in her past-the-point-of-blackout state, multiple syllable words were too much of a challenge. So we talked for a while and I did my best to assure her that everyone has those nights. Some of us are even ambitious enough to have an entire semester’s worth in Madrid. Or so I hear, anyway.