Now that it’s hit February and all I’ve posted are a few measly Instagrams, I’m faced with another standard study abroad crisis: the Facebook photo album. I’ve received complaints with friends and family alike that stalking me hasn’t been the thrill it normally is… because, well, there’s hardly anything to stalk. My previous Madrid masterpiece, Dicking Around Europe, just isn’t cutting it anymore. And it’s not like anyone is going to actually read my blog. This same predicament applies to one of my BFFs, Kayla – my dance partner from ballet class, my French tutor, the girl I like to pretend to be fraternal twins with at parties, and the only other person who appreciates the lyrical genius of Kanye’s “Clique” quite like I do.
So when Kay explained that her hope was to combine partying with Harry Potter for an album title, I put down my pumpkin juice and upgraded to fire whiskey. If there’s one talent I have it’s creating embarrassing, wizard-related puns… especially since we all know “Order of the Phoenix” was really about snorting floo powder at the Slurring Shack or Godric’s Hangover and fighting for house elf rights (to party). So for all you UK study abroad students out there who blackout so often you need remembralls, here’s what I passed along to Kayla:
The Boy Who Raged
Droppin’ Pounds Like a Malfoy
Sobriety Is For Hufflepuffs
Don’t Need No Invisibility Cloak To Get In This Club
Patron Is My Patronus
Defense Against The Drunk Arts
Blacked Out So Hard I Need Lumos
Let’s Get Siriusly Weird
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Boned
Staying In Tonight? Don’t Be A Squib
Pregaming On Polyjuice
Accio Black Out
Butter Beer Goggles
Slytherin The Liquor Store
Number Of Shots? 9 and 3/4
Seeing Tequila In The Mirror of Erised
Hufflepuff Til The Sorcerer’s Stoned
I Solemnly Swear I’m Blacking Out
The Art of Being Basic 